Browse the fortune database

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|| The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture!  ||
||	   Watch for it at a theater near you next summer!	     ||
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	Francis Ford Coppola presents a George Lucas Production:
			"Fortune Cookie"
	Directed by Steven Spielberg.
	Starring  Harrison Ford  Bette Midler  Marlon Brando
		  Christopher Reeves  Marilyn Chambers
		  and Bob Hope as "The Waiter".
	Costumes Designed by Pierre Cardin.
	Special Effects by Timothy Leary.
	Read the Warner paperback!
	Invoke the Unix program!
	Soundtrack on XTC Records.
	In 70mm and Dolby Stereo at selected theaters and terminal
		centers.

3M, under the Scotch brand name, manufactures a fine adhesive for art
and display work.  This product is called "Craft Mount".  3M suggests
that to obtain the best results, one should make the bond "while the
adhesive is wet, aggressively tacky."  I did not know what "aggressively
tacky" meant until I read today's fortune.

		[And who said we didn't offer equal time, huh? Ed.]

		Answers to Last Fortune's Questions:

	(1) None.  (Moses didn't have an ark).
	(2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle.
	(3) I don't know.
	(4) Who cares?
	(5) 6 (or maybe 4, or else 3).  Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk,
	    Montana, submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5.
	(6) There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 1029 of my
	    book, which you can pick up for $23.95 at finer bookstores and
	    bathroom supply outlets (or 99 cents at the table in front of
	    Papyrus Books).

Beware of computerized fortune-tellers!

By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote.  In fact, it is as
difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent.
		-- R. Emerson
		-- Quoted from a fortune cookie program
		(whose author claims, "Actually, stealing IS easier.")
		[to which I reply, "You think it's easy for me to
		misconstrue all these misquotations?!?"  Ed.]

Chocolate chip.

			DELETE A FORTUNE!
Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?!
Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system?
You can!  Just mail to `fortune' with the fortune you hate most,
and we'll make sure it gets expunged.

Did you know about the -o option of the fortune program?  It makes a
selection from a set of offensive and/or obscene fortunes.  Why not
try it, and see how offended you are?  The -a ("all") option will
select a fortune at random from either the offensive or inoffensive
set, and it is suggested that "fortune -a" is the command that you
should have in your .profile or .cshrc. file.

Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.
Violators will be prosecuted.
(Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a.))

For 20 dollars, I'll give you a good fortune next time ...