Browse the fortune database

Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
		-- D.E. Knuth

	Price Wang's programmer was coding software.  His fingers danced upon
the keyboard.  The program compiled without an error message, and the program
ran like a gentle wind.
	Excellent!" the Price exclaimed, "Your technique is faultless!"
	"Technique?" said the programmer, turning from his terminal, "What I
follow is the Tao -- beyond all technique.  When I first began to program I
would see before me the whole program in one mass.  After three years I no
longer saw this mass.  Instead, I used subroutines.  But now I see nothing.
My whole being exists in a formless void.  My senses are idle.  My spirit,
free to work without a plan, follows its own instinct.  In short, my program
writes itself.  True, sometimes there are difficult problems.  I see them
coming, I slow down, I watch silently.  Then I change a single line of code
and the difficulties vanish like puffs of idle smoke.  I then compile the
program.  I sit still and let the joy of the work fill my being.  I close my
eyes for a moment and then log off."
	Price Wang said, "Would that all of my programmers were as wise!"
		-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"

Prof:    So the American government went to IBM to come up with a data
	 encryption standard and they came up with ...
Student: EBCDIC!"

Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

Programmers do it bit by bit.

Programmers used to batch environments may find it hard to live without
giant listings; we would find it hard to use them.
		-- D.M. Ritchie

Programming is an unnatural act.

Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:

BBW	Branch Both Ways
BEW	Branch Either Way
BBBF	Branch on Bit Bucket Full
BH	Branch and Hang
BMR	Branch Multiple Registers
BOB	Branch On Bug
BPO	Branch on Power Off
BST	Backspace and Stretch Tape
CDS	Condense and Destroy System
CLBR	Clobber Register
CLBRI	Clobber Register Immediately
CM	Circulate Memory
CMFRM	Come From -- essential for truly structured programming
CPPR	Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRN	Convert to Roman Numerals

Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:

DC	Divide and Conquer
DMPK	Destroy Memory Protect Key
DO	Divide and Overflow
EMPC	Emulate Pocket Calculator
EPI	Execute Programmer Immediately
EROS	Erase Read Only Storage
EXCE	Execute Customer Engineer
HCF	Halt and Catch Fire
IBP	Insert Bug and Proceed
INSQSW	Insert into queue somewhere (for FINO queues [First in never out])
PBC	Print and Break Chain
PDSK	Punch Disk

Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:

PI	Punch Invalid
POPI	Punch Operator Immediately
PVLC	Punch Variable Length Card
RASC	Read And Shred Card
RPM	Read Programmers Mind
RSSC	reduce speed, step carefully  (for improved accuracy)
RTAB	Rewind tape and break
RWDSK	rewind disk
RWOC	Read Writing On Card
SCRBL	scribble to disk  - faster than a write
SLC	Search for Lost Chord
SPSW	Scramble Program Status Word
SRSD	Seek Record and Scar Disk
STROM	Store in Read Only Memory
TDB	Transfer and Drop Bit
WBT	Water Binary Tree