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# 1031
As of next Thursday, UNIX will be flushed in favor of TOPS-10.
Please update your programs.
 
# 1032
As of next Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL.
Please update your programs.
 
# 1033
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
 
# 1034
As part of an ongoing effort to keep you, the Fortune reader, abreast of
the valuable information the daily crosses the USENET, Fortune presents:

News articles that answer *your* questions, #1:

	Newsgroups: comp.sources.d
	Subject: how do I run C code received from sources
	Keywords: C sources
	Distribution: na

	I do not know how to run the C programs that are posted in the
	sources newsgroup.  I save the files, edit them to remove the
	headers, and change the mode so that they are executable, but I
	cannot get them to run.  (I have never written a C program before.)

	Must they be compiled?  With what compiler?  How do I do this?  If
	I compile them, is an object code file generated or must I generate
	it explicitly with the > character?  Is there something else that
	must be done?
 
# 1035
As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500 programs;
a process that traditionally requires some debugging.
		-- USA Today, referring to the Internal Revenue Service
		   conversion to a new computer system.
 
# 1036
As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't
as easy to get programs right as we had thought.  Debugging had to be
discovered.  I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large
part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in
my own programs.
		-- Maurice Wilkes, designer of EDSAC, on programming, 1949
 
# 1037
As the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
bearing hot new versions of their pieces -- faster, smaller, more complete,
or putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new
version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
efficient test cases will usually be available.
		-- Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
 
# 1038
As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
		-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"
 
# 1039
As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free variable."
 
# 1040
ASCII a stupid question, you get an EBCDIC answer.
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